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I already know that this might be cringe-worthy for some, especially if you are in the trenches of pregnancy nausea or discomfort, but I’m just going to say it: I absolutely loved being pregnant. Every second of it.
Yep, you read that right. I feel like I had the best pregnancy ever, and I embraced the experience wholeheartedly. If you are enjoying your pregnancy or looking back on that special time in your life with appreciation and nostalgia, you are not alone. But I also know that sometimes it seems taboo to say these kinds of things.
There are plenty of moms that feel the complete opposite about pregnancy. And who can blame them? It’s an experience that can cause all kinds of unpleasant side effects, health complications, body changes, and even mental health issues. Many women seriously struggle through the whole process—and that is normal.
However, I think it’s also why many moms keep their positive experiences to themselves. It can feel as if you’re bragging by simply saying you had a great pregnancy. We feel more inclined to share our negative experiences because it feels more relatable. Or because we don’t want to rub anything in someone’s face that had a really hard time or is currently pregnant and struggling.
But I think we should be free to speak our truth, whether it’s uncomfortable for others or not.
Downplayed My Happy Feelings
Of course, you can be considerate of others’ feelings, knowing that if they’re throwing up every single day, it might not be the best time to blurt out that pregnancy was the best time of your life. You can acknowledge their feelings, and offer to help them, while still being transparent with the fact you did not personally suffer, but you can empathize with how uncomfortable they must be feeling. Allow yourself peace in knowing that everyone is different. Just because you loved it and others didn’t, it’s nothing to feel guilty about–or keep a secret.
I went through these complicated feelings because I found myself downplaying my true feelings because most people weren’t interested in hearing that I was pregnant and happy. When I encounter a pregnant friend, I mostly hear from them that they have pain, or can’t keep food down. I get it. Pregnancy consumes your body completely. And for them, this is their honest, true experience.
But I didn’t have much to complain about and felt like people couldn’t, or didn’t want to relate.
My Grateful Pregnancy Experience
I was very excited to become pregnant. It didn’t take a long time, and we didn’t need to do fertility treatments, but it didn’t happen right away, either. I was so thankful, even shocked when I finally saw a positive pregnancy test. We’d been trying, but it was still mind-blowing to see. I almost couldn’t believe it.
As I braced myself for the morning sickness phase, I was surprised to find that it never came. I had what I described to people as “morning queasiness” on occasion. Some mornings I’d feel slightly motion sick, but a small pack of crackers would eliminate symptoms completely. If I made sure to eat plenty the day before, I wouldn’t have these feelings at all the next morning. Aside from being a little more tired than usual, and having tender breasts, I felt fine.
I progressed through my pregnancy with some well-known side effects: thinning of my hair, having to use the bathroom a lot, pregnancy acne, and towards the end, swelling of my feet and ankles. I also waddled like a penguin for the last two months—this is not an exaggeration. My bump felt huge, and my baby ended up weighing nearly ten pounds. She was in the 99th percentile for height and weight.
These Are The Positives
While I was definitely more uncomfortable in late pregnancy because of this, I still loved every second of it. I was fascinated by the weekly app updates that talked about how big the baby was getting, and what development milestones she’d be experiencing. I never felt so grateful for the human body. I noticed that people were so kind to me—holding open doors, allowing me to take a seat or closer parking spots. Considering what I might like to eat. Ensuring I was safe. I felt so special, so cared for by family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers. I don’t think there’s another time in one’s life when people you know—and people you don’t—stop to simply tell you how beautiful you look.
I also loved feeling my baby kick. Every time I felt the sensation of her moving around inside my belly as I was doing mundane tasks like driving to work, shopping for groceries, or taking a shower I was completely blown away by the miracle my body was performing. Growing an entirely new human while I was going about my daily life. It is simply incredible.
I distinctly remember an emotional outburst I had in the bathroom at work one day. I was about 28 weeks pregnant, and it had dawned on me that this was going to end. This beautiful, unexpectedly wonderful experience had a time limit. And once she was born, she wouldn’t be protected like she was in the womb. She’d be exposed to the outside world, to other people, and wouldn’t always have the safety of being tucked inside my belly. My baby would soon be a separate being, one that I wouldn’t feel every second of the day. I was excited to meet her—of course—but the pregnancy hormones made me realize how much I was loving this.
I wanted to share my feelings because I know there are other moms out there who felt the beauty of pregnancy. Other moms who wish they could be pregnant over and over and over again (even if they didn’t love childbirth or the newborn phase).
I want you to know that your experience is valid, and you aren’t alone!
It’s okay to have enjoyed something that others hated. It’s not your fault that your journey was a happy one but caused trauma for others. Your experience is yours, and yours alone. I hope that moms won’t shy away from telling people the truth about what pregnancy was like for them—good or bad—because when you are forthcoming, others will feel like they can be, too.
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