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Despite there being a lot of couples out there who plan their pregnancies, this is not the case for everyone. There are many people out there who find themselves pregnant unexpectedly, and it can happen to anyone. It is a common myth that unplanned pregnancies only happen to teenagers, but they can happen to anyone.



They can happen to grown women who were on birth control that failed. They can happen to women who have been told they are “infertile,” and they can happen to a mom who already has 4 children and was not prepared for another one.

Birth control is not always effective, and there are couples all over the country who are staring at a positive pregnancy test in shock. Their lives have suddenly changed, and they are now faced with what seems like a million decisions that they are not prepared to make.

RELATED: Unplanned Pregnancies Have Spiked In Japan During COVID-19

While this can seem overwhelming, there are some things that couples can do to plan. Having a plan, and feeling in control, is the best way to make sure you can stay calm through it all, and think clearly.


The First Decision

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via Pexels/RODNAE Productions

The very first decision that has to be made is if you intend to keep the pregnancy. According to Family Doctor, depending on how far along you are, and what state you live in, you do have options on what to do with the pregnancy.

While this may be the hardest decision, it is one that needs to be made quickly. This means speaking to your family, friends, and medical providers about what your options are, and what is right for you. It is also important to remember that your loved ones can give you advice, but only you can make the decision for yourself.

Take The Proper Steps

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via Pexels/Mart Production

A part of feeling in control is making sure that you are doing what you are supposed to do. It can help you feel organized, and you will want to make an appointment with your doctor, and start taking prenatal vitamins, according to WebMD.

Your doctor can be a great tool in helping you plan and prepare. Let them know that this is an unexpected pregnancy, and they can help you with resources, and your health. They can help guide you on where you can go to get resources, and what you need to do to make sure your baby is healthy.

The “P” In Plan

Woman Unsure About Fertility
Photo by SHVETS production via Pexels

When someone is trying to conceive, they are already planning as they wait, but this puts them at an advantage. When they get that positive pregnancy test, they already have some plans in mind for when the baby is born. This was their goal, and this means they are prepared. While couples with an unexpected pregnancy may feel like they are at a disadvantage, it is never too late.

Sometimes, it really just means that you have to sit down with paper and a pen, and plan. Write down everything that you will need, and this should include everything – it doesn’t matter how minor it may seem. Then take that list, and organize them. Put them into months that they need to get done according to your pregnancy. This can be very calming, and help mom and dad-to-be feel like they have it all under control.

Mental Health

woman upset looking at pregnancy test

When a couple finds out they are pregnant, and they were not planning for it, there are a lot of mental health challenges that can come up. This is something that needs to be handled during pregnancy. According to Hope Line PRC, it is OK to be in shock, and it is important that you acknowledge and validate it. It is OK to be shocked, and you need to give yourself time to absorb what is happening. Take that time to allow yourself to heal, and accept what is happening. It is OK to be emotional, sad, or even mad. You were not expecting this or planning it, and now your whole life has changed. That is a big thing for anyone to manage, much less someone who was not expecting it.

The good news is that there is time to handle all of this, and with support from the people around you, and medical providers, you can get through it during your pregnancy.

Coping with an unplanned pregnancy is never going to be easy, and neither is planning for one, but it is something that can be done with some work, connections, and support. Always remember that if baby is loved by you, and your partner, that is all they really need anyway.

Sources: Family Doctor, WebMD, Hope Line PRC

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